


Salvage

by Sorin



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 18:54:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5138816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorin/pseuds/Sorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Estinien learns the hard way what the Heaven's Ward are capable of, and struggles to figure out how to make them pay for it while keeping Aymeric whole. (This contains SPOILERS for the Heavensward MSQ!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salvage

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing really of note here, other than it does deal with torture/rape trauma, but that isn't described in detail. Enjoy!

_What a mess this has been,_ Estinien thinks as he strides across the courtyard and toward Aymeric’s headquarters.He casts a baleful glance toward the Vault before shaking his head and pushing the door open, intending on going back and making certain for himself that Aymeric isn’t badly injured after all.The man had been determined to walk on his own, though in the end it had taken both himself and Haurchefant to support him as they made their way up to the airship landing.

Thinking of the dead son of House Fortemps sends a cold dagger through him, and Estinien’s expression darkens.He hadn’t known him well- through Aymeric, mostly- and so he personally isn’t broken up over his loss, but the look on the Warrior of Light’s face when he’d died is going to haunt him for months.It serves as a stark reminder that he could have just as easily lost Aymeric, and he’s tired of slinking around and hiding their relationship- if one could call it that.They haven’t actually discussed it.

There’s a young temple knight standing guard outside of Aymeric’s chamber, and he raises an eyebrow.Aymeric’s never been one to have guards before, instead preferring the heavy bolt and wood of his door so as to have privacy.

“Well?” Estinien finally asks after the knight stares at him for a few seconds, crossing his arms.

“Ser Lucia ordered that Ser Aymeric isn’t to be disturbed,” the knight replies.

Estinien rolls his eyes.He’s glad of his helm- it hides most of his reactions to what people say, which is likely a good thing given his lack of patience for people in general.He debates taking the time to go _find_ Lucia, and who knows where she’d gone off to, and then debates what will happen if he just moves the knight himself.Aymeric has reminded him more than once to mind his temper, however, and so he decides to make an effort _just this once_ given his situation.

“I outrank her,” he says flatly- which is true… or would be, if she were a dragoon.As it stands, the dragoons are somewhat outside everyone’s jurisdiction save their own, but they could fall loosely under Aymeric’s command if need be.“You’d be wise to let me pass.”

The knight blinks.He’s obviously a new recruit- too new to know exactly where the dragoons fit in.He pauses and glances back at the door, then looks at Estinien again.“He’s supposed to be sleeping,” he finally says lamely.

Estinien stifles a sigh.“If you believe that, you don’t know anything about him,” he replies gruffly.He’s no doubt Aymeric is _not_ sleeping, and wouldn’t be surprised to find him going over reports.

After a few seconds hesitation, the knight nods and moves out of the way.Estinien nods to him- it pays to be somewhat polite, at least- and opens the door, then closes it quietly behind him and bolts it.He’s not of a mind to be disturbed, and he’s quite certain Aymeric isn’t either.The sitting room is lit by the fireplace and candles, but Aymeric isn’t in it, which tells him he’s in his bedroom- and Estinien makes a quiet, thoughtful sound.

Maybe he _is_ sleeping.Wouldn’t that be a sight.

He walks quietly to the bedroom, finding the door ajar, and peers in- and what he sees makes his heart hit the floor.Aymeric is huddled in the far corner, knees drawn up to his chest and arms wound around them.Estinien can’t _ever_ remember seeing him like this.

He hurries over to him and kneels in front of him, reaching out to touch his shoulder.“Aymeric,” he says softly.

Aymeric slowly looks up, brilliant blue eyes dulled with pain and sorrow, red-rimmed and swollen as well.There are tear tracks on his face.Estinien’s throat tightens, and he quickly removes both his helm and his gauntlets.He sets them aside and reaches out, gently cupping Aymeric’s face and trailing his thumb along his cheekbone.

“Come,” he murmurs.“It’s all right.”He is gentle and careful as he helps Aymeric stand, letting his long-time friend and lover lean against him as he needs to before guiding him to the bed.He quickly sets the pillows up and helps Aymeric sit and lean back against them, then divests himself of the rest of his armor and sits next to him.Aymeric immediately tucks himself close, and Estinien winds his arms around him, holding him protectively against his chest.

It’s a long while before Aymeric speaks- Estinien had actually thought he’d fallen asleep.“Forgive me,” he whispers, barely audible even in the silence of the room.“I…”

Estinien shifts a little, lifts a hand to stroke his hair.“What am I forgiving you for?” he asks, keeping his own voice low and soothing.“You’ve done nothing to need it.”

Aymeric shakes his head a little.“I should have listened,” he replies, his voice shaking a little.“I should have taken the advice all of you gave me and waited for my temper to cool.What happened to me is my own fault.”

“What happened to you is your pathetic excuse for a father’s fault,” Estinien says, sharper than he’d intended- Aymeric tenses in reaction, and Estinien scolds himself, resuming stroking his hair to soothe him again.He can only _imagine_ what Aymeric had gone through.“You did nothing wrong,” he says, his voice quieter this time.“Had the man listened to reason instead of being a power-hungry… well.”He sighs and rests his cheek against Aymeric’s soft hair, then pauses and looks down at him.His hair _is_ still soft, mostly, but it’s matted in spots with dried blood… and his face is only clean because of his tears.“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he murmurs.“You’ll feel better for it.”

Aymeric shudders and shakes his head.“I’m fine- I don’t… I’m fine.”

Estinien has to focus on breathing as white-hot rage crashes over him.Whatever the Heaven’s Ward had done to him, they will pay _dearly_ for it- them, the archbishop, _all_ of them who’d been involved.“All right,” he says once he’s regained control of himself.“If you’re well enough, there’s no need.”

He isn’t, and Estinien knows it- and he knows Aymeric knows as well.

After a long silence, Aymeric finally nods a little.“All right,” he whispers.

Estinien carefully stands and waits to see what Aymeric will do.He doesn’t want to insult him by offering too much help, but he also doesn’t want him to push himself too hard- it’s a frustratingly fine line that he’s having to navigate.When Aymeric slowly uncurls from the pillows and rises, Estinien holds his hands out, giving him the choice.Aymeric takes them and slowly meets his gaze, and Estinien gives him a ghost of a smile before leading him to the bathing chamber.

He gets the water started, and when it’s hot enough he seals the drain and then turns to look at Aymeric, who hasn’t budged from the doorway.His eyes are downcast.Estinien once again has to pause to regain command of his temper- _the next time I see any of those bastards, I swear I’ll visit every horror upon them that they dared torment Aymeric with!-_ and says his name softly to get his attention.

Aymeric jumps a little and looks at him, then nods slightly and looks away before drawing a breath and pulling his tunic off.

Estinien’s jaw clenches so hard he’s a bit amazed that his teeth haven’t cracked under the pressure.

The healers have done a good job with him, he supposes, and he relaxes just a touch as he takes in the mottled bruises and scars across what he can see of Aymeric’s skin.The scars are mostly nothing new, though there are several that Estinien immediately notes he hasn’t seen before- not to mention the purple bruise on his neck that looks suspiciously like a love mark- and he keeps his breathing steady so as not to give any bit of his temper away.The _last_ thing he wants to do is scare Aymeric, who’s hesitating over his trousers in a way that makes Estinien see red.He says nothing, simply waits for Aymeric to act in his own time- saying something like _I won’t hurt you_ won’t help, because that’s obvious in and of itself… and yet those are the words that are on Estinien’s lips, a reassurance of something that Aymeric knows to be true- a reminder, as it were.

After going over at least half of the ways he is going to dismantle each member of the Heaven’s Ward, Estinien draws a breath and lets it out slowly before turning the water off.That catches Aymeric’s attention, and he looks over before hooking his thumbs in his waistband- and not moving any further.Estinien turns away, hoping that might help, and it’s just a few moments before he feels Aymeric’s hands on his waist.He looks back over his shoulder and bites his lip hard, seeing him standing there with his head bowed.

“It’s all right,” he says softly, lifting a hand to rest on one of Aymeric’s.“The only thing you have to fear from me is whether or not I’m going to get myself executed for killing each and every one of them.”

Aymeric looks up at him, slowly lifting his eyes, and the corners of his mouth twitch a bit in what might be a smile.“I don’t think we can execute the Azure Dragoon,” he says, his voice somewhat hoarse.“You’re the only one who can control the Eye.”

“Lucky me,” Estinien replies, his voice just shy of a growl.He’s fully intending on following up on that threat, but- later.Aymeric has to come first.He turns around slowly as Aymeric lets go and climbs into the water, then perches on the edge of the tub and reaches for the shampoo.

Aymeric is quiet and still as Estinien washes his hair, but after a moment, once he’s relaxed under the dragoon’s touch, he smiles a little.“I remember the first time you did this for me,” he murmurs.

Estinien snorts a bit.“Well, it was my fault it needed washing in the first place,” he says, feeling his face heat just a little.“In any case, I like doing it.”Truthfully, he loves Aymeric’s hair, midnight black and curling ever so slightly- just enough to make his fingers itch to be buried in it, most times.

“That’s true.”Aymeric closes his eyes as Estinien carefully rinses the shampoo away, then bows his head again, looking down at the water.“I- I’m sorry.I must seem terribly weak right now.”

The fact that Aymeric felt the need to apologize for that- for _anything_ \- makes Estinien’s throat tighten again.“Stop apologizing,” he says, his voice rougher than he’d intended.Aymeric doesn’t seem to notice or be bothered, for which he’s thankful.He’s concerned, however, as he’s never made it a secret that he doesn’t have time for weakness… not in himself, and not in others.He’s not particularly good with words, and so he finds himself floundering as he tries to figure out what to say to make Aymeric feel better.

In the end, he doesn’t say anything, because he realizes Aymeric is crying softly- and so he gets in the tub with him, heedless of his clothing, and pulls him into a tight embrace.

“You aren’t weak,” he says, his voice low and fierce, “and you aren’t broken.You’ve been through hell.I know- we _all_ know- what happens in that place.”

Aymeric presses his face against the curve of Estinien’s neck and says nothing, just huddles in his arms, drawing his legs up slightly as though to hide.

Estinien slowly counts to ten, keeping a tight hold on Aymeric.“It’s all right,” he finally says as gently as he can.“It’s all right to cry, or to be angry, or to want revenge for what was done to you.None of that makes you a bad person, it just makes you as mortal as the rest of us.”

“I can’t…” Aymeric trails off for a few seconds, then tries again.“If anyone sees how this has affected me…”

“They won’t.”Estinien shakes his head.“I’m sure as the Fury not telling anyone about this, and you’ll recover from it in time.Whatever you need… _anything-_ you can tell me or do with me.”

When the water cools, Estinien gently urges Aymeric out and into a robe after he’s dried off.He still hasn’t paid much attention to his own wet clothing, at least not until it comes time to leave the bathroom.He glances at Aymeric, now more than ever certain that the abuse he’d endured had gone farther than a beating or two, and wonders how he’ll react to him stripping out of his soaked trousers.

Aymeric sees his glance and gives him a wan smile.“You don’t frighten me,” he murmurs.

Normally, Estinien would make some smart-assed comment in response.Now, all he does is nod and close his eyes briefly against the sting of tears.He can’t even remember the last time he cried.

Once he’s dried off as well, with a towel wrapped around his hips, he takes his clothes to the living room and puts them in front of the fireplace to dry.Aymeric slowly sits on the couch behind him, and he sits down next to him and smiles a bit when he scoots close and leans against him.

“Thank you for coming here tonight,” he says, looking up at him with sapphire eyes that seem somewhat brighter than before.

Estinien nods slightly.“I’m staying until you’re ready for me to go,” he says quietly, and if that means he misses his chance to go to Azys Lla, well… so be it.He’s quite certain the Warrior of Light is not going to go easy on them after what happened to Lord Haurchefant, and so he can consider his own revenge as part of that if necessary.

Aymeric exhales and closes his eyes.Estinien shifts so he’s laying back and draws his lover down carefully with him, and Aymeric goes willingly, tucking himself close once again between Estinien and the back of the couch.“I can’t even hint to anyone that I’m less than capable to handle my duties, now more than ever.”His voice is still soft, very much unlike his usual strong, confident tone.“Nobody can know what happened to me.”

“Nobody will.”Estinien presses a kiss to the top of his head and pulls a blanket down from the back of the couch to cover them both as Aymeric manages to get himself out of his robe, wanting nothing between them.“It’s over now, and you’ll never be anyone’s captive again.”

“I know.”Aymeric falls silent long enough that Estinien begins to wonder if he’s fallen asleep.“What I don’t know is what I’ve ever done to make them hate me so much… and why, knowing that, my father turned me over to them as a heretic.”

Gods, it hurts his heart to hear Aymeric talk like that.Estinien sighs and holds him tighter.“You likely never will,” he replies, “on either count.It doesn’t really matter, in the end, seeing as how they’re the ones who have a great deal to answer for.”

Aymeric nods slightly.“I’m exhausted,” he murmurs.“Tomorrow I can be strong again, but right now…”

“Go to sleep.I’m not going anywhere.”Estinien knows why Aymeric chose to lay between himself and the back of the couch- it’s the place he feels safest.He hesitates, warring with himself- should he tell him how he feels?Should he wait?

Will he have another chance?

After just a few moments, he knows that he has to say _something_ or else he’ll explode.He shifts a little and Aymeric looks up at him curiously.“You… are no less than perfect in my eyes,” he manages, the words somehow coming out far easier than he’d expected for how hard his heart is hammering in his chest.He doesn’t know why he’s as nervous as he is.“What they or anyone else thinks doesn’t matter to me.They don’t know you well enough to have any opinion worth taking into account.”

Deep blue eyes widen a little as Aymeric looks at him, and Estinien hears his breath catch.That’s a good sign, he hopes.

“Above all, what matters is here,” Estinien continues, shifting just a little to touch his hand to Aymeric’s chest, right above his heart.He can feel it beating fast beneath his palm.“They can’t _ever_ take that from you.Remember that.”

Aymeric’s lips part slightly as he studies Estinien’s face, looking earnestly for any sign of this being more than friendship- more, even, than what one lover would say to the other.

Estinien very carefully touches his lips to Aymeric’s, not sure how he’ll react… and when Aymeric makes a low sound and melts against him, he feels himself relax in response, not even having realized how tense he was until that moment.He wraps his arm around Aymeric again and holds him tight, and Aymeric kisses him fervently.

It feels better than most anything Estinien has ever experienced.

After a moment Estinien gently breaks the kiss, feeling his body reacting to Aymeric’s presence as it always does when they’re this close.He doesn’t want to scare him, and so he starts to draw away, but Aymeric tightens his grip on him and he freezes in place.

“Don’t,” he whispers.“Please… don’t go.”

Estinien hesitates, then nods slightly and settles back down.Aymeric shifts a little, moving up so that they’re nose to nose, bodies perfectly aligned.He’s only a little shorter- not enough to make much of a difference.

Aymeric studies him for a few heartbeats, looking into his eyes as though he could read his thoughts.Estinien wonders if he actually can, and figures that if anyone were able to, it would be him.“Estinien…”

Estinien closes his eyes briefly, then opens them and looks back. _It’s now or never,_ he tells himself, and he can’t leave any of this up for interpretation.“I love you,” he says simply- there’s no need for explanation or anything else.

A slow smile and a look of wonder cross Aymeric’s face.“I love you, too,” he whispers back.

Estinien is briefly struck breathless at how beautiful Aymeric is, and when he kisses him again, Aymeric returns it as enthusiastically as he had before.He holds his beloved close and smiles faintly when the kiss breaks, pressing their foreheads together.“Get some rest,” he murmurs.“I’ll be right here at your side.”

Aymeric nods slightly and relaxes, tucking his head beneath Estinien’s chin.“Thank you,” he breathes.

Estinien smiles and closes his eyes.“You’re welcome,” he says.Some good has come of this horrible situation after all, he thinks- and while that doesn’t make it worth it, it at least makes up for some of it.

 


End file.
